King Kong

Just when I thought there wouldn't be a Lord of the Rings 4, Peter Jackson manages to make it happen.

Seriously, though. Where'd this guy come from? Who did Peter Jackson kill or sleep with to get two of the biggest movie franchises in existence?

He comes from "Dead Alive", a cult classic B-horror movie, goes from there to a horror movie called "The Frighteners", and takes a HUGE leap into the second biggest trilogy of the decade. Then he goes on to direct a movie like King Kong. It's beyond me how he pulled all of this off. Luckiest director of this generation.

Take a look at this little tidbit -
Peter Jackson, director, producer, writer King Kong. Peter Jackson director, producer, writer all three Lord of the Rings movies.

Fran Walsh, producer, writer King Kong. Fran Walsh was producer, writer for all three Lord of the Rings Movies.

Philippa Boyens, writer King Kong. Philippa Boyens was writer for all three Lord of the Rings movies.

Oh, is that not enough?

Carolynne Cunningham, producer on all four movies.
Andrew Lesnie, cinematographer on all four movies.
Grant Major, production designer on all four movies.

The list goes on for days, and that's only the people at the VERY top, and only the ones that worked on ALL FOUR movies. There were loads that just barely didn't make the cut. My point is, Peter Jackson just got his usual old crew together to pound out another blockbuster. This movie was just business as usual for the LotR crew.

As if that wasn't enough...
They even filmed all of his last 5 movies in New Zealand, his home country. The man is - I don't know, there's a word for it - too comfortable to step out and do anything new with anyone new. It's ridiculous.

But anyway, King Kong

So this movie was three hours long. First mistake. Almost all movies of this kind keep themselves short, that's part of the charm. Quick, easily digestable blockbusters feel good in my belly. HHHhmmmmm yummmm blockbuster GOOD.

This movie was not Lord of the Rings long. It was not "if we don't hit all the details of this intricate story we'll lose our dork-audience" long. It was just self-indulgently long. There was a completely unnecessary subplot (and I like subplots, but not when the movie's too long as it is).

There were expensive special effects scenes that could have been cut out, that would not have hurt the enjoyment of the movie. We wouldn't have known we missed them! It would have been great to leave earlier compared to the enjoyment of watching prehistoric bugs get mowed down by gunfire (which was, still, pretty awesome).

There was almost no dialogue in this movie, and what dialogue there was you could tell was only there out of sheer obligation. It was there to connect one special effects scene to another, and in the end the movie was just a parade of effects (that were stunning).

The story was good, I guess, with a good moral - don't make monkeys angry. Or, if you prefer the more philosophical moral - humans are the least humane things on the planet. We destroy simply because we don't know any better about the world around us. Awwww, big hug everyone, let's get environmental!

I mean, I'm ok with the message, too, just not ok with it being wrapped in a classic. If Peter Jackson likes movie making, maybe one day he'll make a story of his own again. That'd be great. Until then, he can string together special effects scenes with corny dialogue made by his studio people, film in new zeland and hang with his buddies, make billions of dollars digesting classics and spitting out movies.

Go see Kong for awesome action scenes and a valuable lesson about humanity's attitude toward nature in the form of three hours of animal torture. Do not see it expecting a moving story, filled with characters so cool you wish they were your friends, or characters so evil you wish you could meet them and yell bad things at them, or whatever..... the story here is completely inconsequential, the movie is successful without it, and that's completely sad.

But hey, I guess these guys proved that when they made their first millions off of - not their own story - but the first great fantasy story ever written, lord of the rings.

I bet Peter Jackson tries to film the bible next. Just you wait for enough time to pass after The Passion, and I bet he tries it. Geez.